What can make a good parent?
A great parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What makes a fantastic parent isn't only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not have to be ideal. No one is perfect. No child is ideal either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set our expectations.
Profitable parenting is not about achieving perfection. Though it doesn't imply that we shouldn't work to that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves then and first the children of ours next. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
You'll be a better parent, in case you follow these 10 strategies for parenting tips, and you'll avoid bad parenting.
They aren't all that simple or quick.
It's improbable that any person can do them all the time.
However, even if you only do part of these suggestions in this parenting guidebook, you'll be moving in the correct direction in case you continue working on them.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell the child of yours everything you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is showing them.
Human is an unique species in part since we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to copy others' actions, understand them, and incorporate them into our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
Thus, function as the individual you would like your child to be - respect your child, show them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion - and your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate your love.
There is simply no such thing as loving the child of yours a lot of. Loving them cannot spoil them.
Just what you decide to do (or give) in the title of love can - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these items are provided in place of real love, that's when you will have a spoiled kid.
Loving your child may be as easy as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and hearing your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love is able to cause the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals are able to bring us a deep feeling of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the kid, will develop resilience and also not to mention a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape the personalities of ours, and basically determine who we're. They're "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, especially in the beginning years. They will then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Drive through an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with a positive mind-set.
These positive experiences create excellent neural connections in your child's brain and create the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it is possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a good parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind when you set rules and implement them. Focus on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be an opportunity for them to learn for the future in a good manner, rather than to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Let your child realize that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to their needs. Support and accept your child as a person. Be a safe and warm place for your child to explore from and return to.
Kids raised by parents that are consistently responsive have much better emotional regulation development, social skills development, and emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to your child as well as listen to them thoroughly. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a better relationship with your child as well as your kid may come for you when there is an issue.
But there's another reason for communication. You help your child integrate various parts of the brain of theirs, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work in concert to maintain a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are incorporated, they are able to work harmoniously as an entire, meaning less tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask the child of yours to explain what happened and the way they felt developing attuned communication.
You do not need to provide solutions. You don't need to have all the answers to become a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
Many of us wish to parent differently from our parents. Even people who had an excellent upbringing and a thankful childhood might want to change some elements of the way they had been brought up.
But really frequently, when we open our mouths, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is an action towards understanding the reason we parent the way we do. Make note of things you'd like to change and think of how you would get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be mindful and change your behavior next time those issues come up.
Do not give up if you don't succeed in the beginning. It will take practice, a lot of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Focus on Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents require relief also.
Pay attention to your own well-being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including your own needs or the health of the marriage of yours are placed on the back burner when a child is born. If you do not take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Make time to strengthen the relationship of yours with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Don't hesitate to ask for parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is important to revitalize the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child physically and mentally can make a big difference in their parenting and family life. In case these two areas fail, your child is going to suffer, too.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, for some parents, spanking can result in short-term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
However, this method does not teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The kid is then motivated to avoid getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking your child is modeling to your child that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or hit is much more prone to fighting along with other children. They're much more likely in order to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later on in daily life, they're also far more apt to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, even worse parent-child relationships, mental health problems, along with domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are an assortment of better options to discipline which have been proven to be more effective, such as good discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is your goal in raising a kid?
When you are like most parents, you want your child to do well in college, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy positive relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and satisfying life.
Though just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you are like the majority of parents, you most likely spend the majority of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or your child.
Instead, look for ways to switch each negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be turned into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what's currently known by scientists.
To parent is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting techniques, practices, or traditions were scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for raising a child and information which are supported by science, here is one of my personal favorite science based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Using https://parentinghowto.com/ medical knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every child differs. Quite possibly within the best parenting style, there can be a variety of good parenting practices you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A very good example is using spanking to discipline. There are numerous better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You can choose a non-punitive discipline method that actually works best for your child.
Naturally, you can additionally decide to use "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and may nonetheless get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with various temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under great parenting but worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those who are much less prone may "turn out fine" regardless of how tough their parents treat them. Though it does not imply those practices are great. These children are merely lucky. They can thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub-par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on the part of yours in the temporary but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great point is, that although parenting is hard, it's also very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards typically come much later than the effort. But if we try our best now, we'll eventually reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!